Collette

"I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you. Don't be afraid. And remember, to love is to live."
-Dawson's Creek-

As i opened the door to its minimun, i knew my direction. To the left. Where lesser chairs lay and away from the crowd. As usual, i'll sit at the furthest back check my cellphone for any sign of distraction then try to switch my mind to church mode. So an old man spoke. He spoke about how miracles can happen and did happen to him. I am then imagining. What if i was him? what if? I imagined living my life to the fullest. I imagined what my sister could learn. No wait, death is too early for me. Anyway my ears tend to work seperately, trying to search for holes, like "that tone.. he's tearing right? wait no.. he's supressing. Maybe not, he seems like a strong man after all he's been through." Right then, i thought, i want to be like him. And he met a Saint in his dream.

Leaving the Holy grounds was like.. How to express something so dangerous... maybe the last time I ever felt safe... I need to go back again.

Last night was also amazing. It was the 4 of us again. Same a Wednesday. Only this time, i weren't working and we were a quarter-filled drunk. We're good together, aren't we? I knew them for a week but it was like we want more 4 of us time. It was nice, dancing the last hour away. Squeezing ourselves to fit into the tied-together chairs and having potato chips+hot chocolate on a rainy 3 am. So i told them about the possibility of my home gate locked. Silver and Gladys said i could stay at their place. Thank you. But i'm stubborn. And being stubborn can be expensive. I realised. Wasted a trip home to prayers unanswered and cab fare to Gladys. I am in pieces. I am. Today was still amazinggg~