At the end of it all you can do it stick to your guns and set your anchor.I like going away. I don't know why but i like going away. It could just be the words of my circus mind or just the pure emotion of a want. But i always wanted to leave. I would just go whereever whenever i can. Relenting. Like the globular seed head of a dandelion, with just a soft blow, those tiny parachutes navigate by the wind. "why would you want to go away when you have people you loved here?" says Dad. I just believe there's somewhere i can be of more meaning.
A few days ago when i was at bikini bar, 6 of us talked about sensitive issues;; sex, the different alcoholic drinks, drugs, diseases. Then came the subject of me. The once bulimic. I never knew it would come to this day where i can talked about it without feeling estranged. I felt victory. I was lucky i did not reach the point of dying. Though till today, i taste the consequences. I remembered how lonely i was. I have friends but i didn't allow anyone to come near. I hated everything. everything. everything. That memory is like a hollow space, somewhere distant yet close. It follows like a tail. I don't think i want to rid it. I want it to always be behind. Behind and i will lead.
Free food free drinks this Sat's beach party. Can't wait~
2 comments:
That's right, girl. When everything comes down, all you can do is stick to your guns and set your anchor.
:] aww sweetie. Do u know u have words of a professional sometimes it takes awhile for me to rub it in.
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